If you do not read this article because of its length, do yourself a favor and DO NOT return to the site and squash all hopes of ever making the most of yourself and becoming a true player.

I am a member of TIC. I am editing for the Paragon Project. I have won numerous awards on this website. I have helped hundreds of people in chat and in the forums. I have provided killer techniques and The Player voted me as the most respected member. I will seriously tell you I can hook up with any girl I want and that I am happy in my current relationship. I am a natural and have never had any girl problems….right?

It was the fall of 2005 and I happened to fall for a girl on adultfrinendfinder. She was interested in me. I was interested in her. She kissed me on the lips. I was hooked, not to mention petrified.

Unfortunately, I was too afraid to progress matters with her, let alone muster the courage to ask her out. For months I waited and yearned for her. Over the winter she returned to her old boyfriend that I was friends with. They broke up but remained friends with benefits. My desire grew and grew.

More time passed. Towards the end of the winter we would consistently kiss each other on the cheek but I was still afraid. She was so beautiful. People told me she was a bitch and to watch out. I didn’t listen. She was oh so beautiful.

More months passed for her to grow on me. The kisses continued. I asked her out to prom and we went. In the prom pictures I was too afraid to put my arm around her. We hooked up that night and I went on and on about how much I loved her even though, looking back, she was boring. At that moment in time, in my head, she wasn’t boring. I was the boring one. I failed at keeping her entertained. It was my fault.

A week later after getting more addicted to her and doing tons of childish things, we went on a date to the movies. I am a gentleman; of course I paid for her. We didn’t kiss in the movie because I was afraid. I kissed her on the lips as we left the theater. Just once. But during the car ride home I asked her out. She bullshited me with excuses. But I loved her so it made sense. She even told me how her ex and her were still hooking up. It didn’t matter to me; she was already mine even if she wouldn’t “officially” go out with me.

The next few months she would bullshit me and tell me she loved me but would still tell me how she couldn’t stop hooking up with the other guy, yet she hated him, yet she wants to go out with me, yet she can’t, yet I believed every word of it. Every last word of it.

Come spring, we went on a field trip with our school. We were excited and we were crazy about each other. We were both absolutely infatuated. That night at dinner her ex started holding her hand even though he knew we were “going out.” I’m a muscular guy and I could have snapped him in half and my emotions told me to. But I was too nice. For the love she and I had together, I didn’t. Later on a bus I told her that what she did was ok and that we would fix things. She had similar thoughts…kinda. She told me it was all over. I begged for it not to be. I asked her why, please just tell me why.

She told me why and I tried to fix things. Things were going to be ok. I was depressed but it would all be ok. We still loved each other. Of course things would be ok if we both still loved each other. But in the end, it never was ok and it isn’t too much of a stretch to say she didn’t still love me either.

More time passed. Months. I still wasn’t over her. School was ending and every rumor I heard of her hooking up with her ex boyfriend stabbed me. Whatever though. At least we were still friends. I bought her ice cream every time we went out because we still liked each other so much. Even when she tried so hard to avoid my plans. I was on to her; she was playing hard to get. Her excuses must have been legit though.

At her graduation party I made her an amazing gift with roses and memories of our relationship. I, of course, had kept so many mementos from it. Our love would last forever.

She never called to thank me like she promised, in fact she even forgot to call me to hang out. She was busy though so it was ok. When she made me jealous and told me about her new relationships, it was also ok because we were friends now. All emotions were over. But I loved her so I would make sure I ended my emotions.

Over the summer, after she dumped me and was with a new guy, I asked her when she was free. She was busy whenever I was busy. I’m a persistent guy so I’ll be damned if coincidence can stop me.

One day I stayed home from going down to the shore with my friends and went for ice cream with her. I paid. A little bit later I joked around and teased her and she got mad. She got into her car and acted like she was leaving. I thought she was joking. She left. She wasn’t joking. I drove to her house hoping she would let me apologize. She didn’t let me and my stupid big mouth ruined it. I was so mean to her so I deserved it. I didn’t think what I said was so offensive. It was just a joke. Everyone else thought so. Well, everyone else except her. Regardless, it was my fault so I deserved to never see her again. In fact, I never did see her ever again.

It was that first “relationship” that left me heartbroken. Considering you couldn’t even call it a relationship, I was depressed for months. Yet even in our darkness days, light shines through. Some people meander towards the light: I sprint right towards it. After months of sadness and hopelessness, I dug my way out of it and strove to be my best. I began reading relationship advice from askmen.com. It wasn’t long before I was hooked to the newsletters of David D’Angelo. Through perseverance, I read all I could and immersed myself in advice. It wasn’t long before I found the forums that are now www.paragonproject.com. It also wasn’t long before I became respected by many for the knowledge I had gained. Through such small steps I eventually became a counselor, editor, and contributor for the Paragon Project.

Thank you if you read all this. You will put forth the effort and become great. If I did it, anyone can. I was beyond AFC. True story, every word of it.