I met this totally cute cashier at a coffee shop by my apt who just started working there evenings and weekends. I chatted her up a bit and she told me that she had just moved to SF. Bantered with her some, but kept things casual. So my question is, how should I go about asking this girl for a date?
I mean, should I go to the coffee shop a few times and banter with her more each time, or should I just ask her out next time I see her? Also, need tactical advice on how to ask her out. I’m just not sure how to approach a hired gun. Anyway, any good strategy is much appreciated and I’ll let you know the results.
– S, SF”
Man, it annoys me when the jargon people choose to use actually gets in the way of their success.
I mean, I read just enough Noam Chomsky (yeah, even a ladies’ man can be an egghead) to know that the language we use shapes and defines our thoughts. So choose your words carefully when you talk about game.
(By the way, a lot of my buddies like Neil Strauss and Mystery use a lot of jargon. I stand by my belief that a lot of this language can be detrimental to the learning process, but it isn’t meant as an attack on these guys or anyone else for that matter – I just happen to disagree…)
Today’s rant: hired gun.
Quick, what did you picture when I said that. I bet $1000 you saw a hot girl with a cowboy hat and six guns at her side, and a scowl on her face.
You know why you saw that? Because someone who knows a lot about the world of fantasy decided that was a cool, dangerous sounding term to describe girls who work at bars, shops and in the whole service industry.
Problem is, it’s exactly wrong. Girls paid to work at bars, stores and such are paid to be NICE to you, not shoot you down.
There is also these rumors going around that these girls are constantly getting hit on by cool guys – so much so that they are immune to a truly confident man that is clearly skilled with women.
Are you sure about that?
Tell you what, the next time you are at a crowded bar or club spot with a cute ‘hired gun’, park your butt for a while and WATCH.
Yes, you will see an endless wave of ‘grabbers’. Guys who are constantly touching the women, trying to pull them close aggressively in a macho display.
You will also see lots of talkers. Guys giving weak complements, nervously telling jokes, or timidly asking questions about her life.
If you watch this activity long enough, you will notice something about the ‘grabbers’ and the ‘talkers’…
You will notice that they aren’t really taking there actions seriously and they don’t truly expect to succeed.
That my friends, is why the girls don’t take these guys seriously either.
The truth is that most of these guys lack the confidence to approach women in real life, and they ONLY flirt with ‘hired guns’.
If you see a real man, you’ll see some talking, and certainly a splash of grabbing – but you will see a lot of confidence.
You will see a man who has an end in mind, and you might be surprised indeed at how seriously the girl takes him.
Girls paid to work at bars and such are pre-disposed to date guys they meet there… provided the guys are not weird and not complete idiots similar as on adultfrienedfinder app.
This is where the Natural Game in Art of Attraction comes in handy.
When you are attracted to a girl who works somewhere you go, you want to ease into the transition. That’s what she’s used to. Girls date customers all the time, but they need to know it’s cool with the environment they work at. They will make sure their co-workers approve. Meeting her after work at her place is perfect.
So how do you do it?
Don’t make her uncomfortable. No movie moments. No big productions. Be totally cool and casual and you’d be amazed how easy it can be.
Replace your usual conversation with Banter. Role play. Tell her she’s the best girlfriend you ever had, cos every time you see her, she’s serving you a beer.
Smile and call her “love” in a phony Irish accent.
When she goes to take your money, hold onto it for a second, look her in the eye, smile and say “you’ve got to work harder than that with me, darling.”
Flirt shamelessly, and then make a smooth transition into seeing what she’s doing after work.
Maybe you’ll finally find yourself doing something fun after work!
Keep making girls smile, and see what they then do for you